Cookie Clicker

If at first you don't succeed

Ascend with 1 septendecillion cookies baked.

But the future refused to change

Have 650 time machines.

Quadricentennial and a half

Have at least 450 of everything.

Know thyself

Have 450 You.

Signed, sealed, delivered

Have 700 shipments.

Large and in charge

Bake 100 septendecillion cookies in one ascension.

Making light of the situation

Have 600 prisms.

Nuclear throne

Have 600 antimatter condensers.

Swiss cheese

Have 650 portals.

Away from this place

Have 500 idleverses.